Feeling Weepy

I'm browsing thru my pix collection , looking at them kids, how time flies when you're enjoying it, kan ?.. until I saw a picture that was taken the previous nite...tetiba rasa sedih, not really, mixed feeling is more likely...

My little boy will always have a special place in my heart bukan sbb dia the only boy tapi because of all the things that he went thru right from the moment he came into the world. He went thru a lot for the past 6 years and looking at him today...cheeky, fidgety, kerempeng, manja and all, made me a little bit...i don't know...sedih happy worried sumer ada...Not that I'm treating my children differently but I have to admit that I do have soft spot for this boy tho there are times that I feel like tying him to the wall for hitting his sisters and many more. Boys will be boys

I was on GA when he was delivered thru emergency c-sec (his heart suddenly weakening and almost stop beating). I don't get to see him until few days later. 2 days in incubator, he was diagnosed with TOF and they operated him successfully. I think I met Eton Chandra when he was in NICU. He started his journey this way....

5 days old

and survived. Here captured in his 1st passport photo when he was about 6months. That's his 1st red shirt.

Kantoi nampak tgn aku tgh pegang hehe

He caught a chronic bronchopneumonia rightaway. He did a good job in surviving few ordeals in between. I think the worst when I was in S'pore (luckily) in 2004, auditing ArrHatchBeeBank. He was not well when I left. I don't feel good when hubby said that he's not getting better. I rushed back and felt like killing everyone in the house for taking things easily. How cruel of them to let him lying there breathless just to avoid him being admitted. I came thru the door, have one look at him, drop my knapsack, grab him and ask hubby to drive to the hospital. I was weeping and clenching my teeth all the way. I think I have the right to feel that way at that time.

In the emergency unit, I was scolded right and left by the Dr and nurses for failing to admit him earlier, I felt like screaming at them. I mean, I was away doing my job, I came back based on my instinct only to find him in that almost vege-state, so stop the blaming game, do your job and treat my son before I open my not-so-sopan mouth. Guess what, he was surviving with only 60% oxygen level !! He was immediately put in high-dependency ward right behind nurse station, under 24hrs oxygen supply thru mask, every 2,3 hours of neb and very close monitoring, every single food and drink intake were measured, even 2,3 pieces of kokokrunch will be put on chart. Open the mask pop the cereal, munch munch, breathless, put back the mask, and it goes on and on. He was injected with few type of drugs as much as 8-10ml at one go. He was treated with the strongest antibiotic. I cried everytime he cried, when he's asleep, I cried even louder. He bounced back in just 6 days. That's the worst, others just a normal combo of fever, cough + phlegm. APSH is like our 2nd house.

I'm cool now but I still don't take things easily when he complains about feeling tight at the chest. But then, I'm not the type who gonna put him on strict this-thing-cannot-that-thing-cannot, we do let him have some sundae, few sips of ice-blended. I don't stop him from playing too long in the water coz he loves water soooooooo much. What I did was to monitor his breathing, that's all. Even his medication is not on schedule, come tight chest, aero-chamber will be in action.

Last Monday, I was on 1/2 day leave to buy new stuffs for him. When I snapped this pic while he was trying his uniform, I can't help but felt so proud for my wafer-thin-son who waded thru strongly from day 1. I miss his dimpled-smile every single day. I'm proud of you son. Ibu and Babah love you so much. Dah besar dah anak ibu, but don't grow too fast dear...

Baru prasan x beli belt lagi hehe

Alhamdulillah, syukur tak terhingga atas pemberianMu ini.

Note : Adan will attend his orientation day on 15Nov, that's why i bought the uniform super early.