In The Wake of Nurin's Tragedy

Al Fatihah to the little girl. Takziah for the family. We watched the Buletin Perdana on Friday night with tears. Non-stop. I hugged Hanis and wept. And Adan kept on asking 'Kenapa ibu nangis ??'. I just can't stop.

Ya Allah, apalah nak jadi dengan dunia ni. This will definitely turn me, the already over-cautious and paranoid mom, to a higher level. All this while, they're not allowed to play outside without adult supervision eventhough their friends are there. Will make sure at least one of my neighbour is watching them. Most of the time I will let all of them play inside our compound but bingit ya rabbi not to mention scrathes on our car. Ikut kawan pegi kedai dekat2 rumah, is a no no.

Pendek kata, they're not allowed to be out of my sight no matter how close. In crowded place they are not allowed to let go of their hands. I've planted that in them. So, my sweet dahlings..no more main2 tepi sungai for you if ibu and babah is not around. Everywhere I went, I can't help but always on the look for lost kids. Nampak je budak2 yg mcm lost, mesti aku approach. Else aku akan rasa guilty all the way sampai mimpi2, what if, what if. That's me.

With the latest tragedy, I don't know how paranoid I can be. But it made things easier for me that now they, especially Hanis, understood what can happen to them. I kept on mentioning to her. 'Ibu tak bagi Along pegi jauh2 sebab ibu sayang Along. Now you understand why? It is because I love you'. They can relate that with my rules. For now I would rather be a mother who is over-protective, biarlah org nak kata apa, apa2 jadi anak kita, bukan anak diorang.

Now I have mixed feeling inside:

• I don't feel bad for having kids who don't like strangers
• I'm blessed but worried that I'm gifted with 3 beautiful kids
• I don't mind being busybody
• I get mad all the times seeing small kids wandering on their own
• I don't feel safe
• School is not a safe place. Luckily tok wan is one step ahead of me in safety department :)
• many many more...

But, can you believe this ? Yes, their negligence in a way contributed to her death, they're wrong to assume that she was not alone, but as mentioned here, benda dah nak jadi, a fate. Why now baru nak invoke, this is not the first case that a child end up brutally murdered since the Act introduced. I don't know...but my personal opinion, it is so inappropriate to talk about it when the parents are still grieving and bigger issue is at hand...the killer, the ani-man (animal + human) is still at large.